“Zero Chaos” It’s Not Only Donald Trump’s Characterization Of His Administration, It’s Also His Porn Name.

I have seen train-wrecks before but I have never seen one that lasted for 76 minutes.

On Thursday, February 16th, Donald Trump gave his first solo press conference since being sworn in as President. I wish I could say that he was in “rare form” during the fact-free, insult-laced, one hour and fifteen minute rant, but sadly, there was nothing rare about it. It ranged from the now commonplace; in his false claim that his electoral win of 306 was the largest since Ronald Reagan’s victory (Barrack Obama’s 08′ electoral win was 365, Bill Clinton received 370 and George H. W. Bush’s win was well over 400!), to the truly novel; in his statement that “the intelligence leaks are real, but the news is fake!”

As he said that, I imagined all the heads of the journalists seated in the room, exploding in unison.

To revisit the train-wreck metaphor; I was horrified and fascinated. I couldn’t look away and yet prayed that it wasn’t really happening (and who knows, Donald Trump may very well claim tomorrow that it never did…).

To be honest the display resembled nothing so much as the court mandated psychological observation of a psychotic. He ranted, he rambled, he threatened, he played the victim, he veered into nonsensical misdirection and projection.

To recount just some of the low-lights (and by low-lights, I mean blatant lies), he said:

  • “Hillary Clinton gave Russia 20% of the uranium in our country…”
  • “Drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars…”
  • “The ninth circuit court has been overturned a record number of times…”
  • “I inherited a mess…”
  • “The Dakota / Keystone pipeline will create thousands and thousands of jobs…”
  • “Elijah Cummings was told by [Senator] Schumer, or some other light-weight, not to meet with me…”
  • When he was confronted by MSNBC’s Peter Alexander on the obvious falsity of the electoral win statement, Trump responded; “I was given that information…actually, I’ve seen that information around…”
  • “Russia is a ruse…I have nothing to do with Russia….I haven’t made a phone call to Russia in years… don’t speak to people from Russia…To the best of my knowledge, no person that I deal with has any…” (For the record, Trump has many past and present business ties to people in and from Russia. His most recent visit to Russia was in November of 2013 for a beauty pageant that he owns but which was funded by a Russian billionaire. In an October 2013 interview with David Letterman – scrub to 14:43 on the slider, Trump stated that he has “done a lot of business with the Russians…” It is safe to assume that those business ties are still intact. Consider that if those ties had been severed it is a good bet that Trump would be making a big deal about making sure that everyone knows that.)
  • “There is zero chaos…this administration is running like a fine-tuned [sic] machine…”

That is just a sampling of the dissembling, obfuscation and bald-faced lying that was on display. However, no statement by Trump was quite so telling as the one that just might be the only true thing that he said, in his declaration that “I love this, I’m having a good time.”

Zero Chaos? This man is driven by chaos. It is his raison d’être. I have come to believe that without chaos, Donald Trump would simply blink out of existence; his voice getting smaller and more helium-induced as he recedes, until…poof! A flash of light and a small puff of smoke. We hear a little popping sound as he vanishes, like a cork being pulled from a bottle…

It has been reported that Vice-Admiral Robert Harward, to whom Trump had offered the now vacant position of National Security Advisor (replacing Michael Flynn), decided after watching the press conference, to turn down the offer.

Clearly, Robert Harward was exactly the person that Donald Trump needs; he was the smartest guy in the room. The speed at which he left that room was proof of that.

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Hey Trumpsters! This is what “shaking things up” looks like!

Trump supporters recited the same answer over and over, like some insane parrot that had suffered head trauma, when asked why they were supporting Donald Trump for president;

“I want someone who’s gonna shake things up…”

So, mission accomplished! Your candidate was elected and I think that we can all agree that things are “shaken up” beyond all recognition. So everyone in Trump Town is happy right?

To quote Donald Trump: WRONG!

They are not happy with all of the “Sore Losers” that are making all this ruckus and the  “fake protests” that constitute millions of “paid protesters” that are “crying because their candidate lost.”

To which I politely respond, FUCK OFF!

Listen meat puppets, you can’t have it both ways (although most angry children want exactly that…). You wanted to shake things up. Well this is what shaking things up looks like on a global scale. This is the kind of shaken up that you can see from space.

So here’s the thing:

If you are not able to make the mental leap that electing a candidate as divisive as Donald Trump whom has derided and alienated most of the people in this country during a hate-filled and contentious campaign, might result in those citizens deciding that they want to express themselves through their constitutional rights of assembly and protest, or you are just not willing to accept the fact that the election result that you asked for would look like this, then you need to do something that I am pretty sure you have never done before in your bitter, angry lives as perennial victims;

Blame yourself, not us.

Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going to find out who I talk to about getting my hands on some of that sweet, sweet protester money…

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Alternative Fact Alert: General Michael Flynn promoted to new position…

…as the Field Director of the Trump Administration’s Office of Islamic Outreach. The offices of which will be located at the site of the Notorious “Bowling Greene Massacre”

In other fake news; KellyAnne Conway announced the grand opening of a new chain of  face stretching clinics that will specialize in using her patented techniques for maintaining that wax-like appearance that she is known for. The company slogan will be;

“You will be telling lies with a straight face, with a little help from KellyAnne…”

She will giving a 20 minute info-mercial for the clinics from the Brady Briefing Room at the White House. They will launch the grand opening with a “Donor Night” Gala Event.

Featured performers for the event will be Three Doors Down, The Washboard Guys and “Bullwinkle” the yodeling Basset Hound.

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“She Was Warned…”

“…she was given an explanation, never the less, she persisted!”

This admonishment was spoken by Mitch McConnell on the floor of the Senate when he invoked a provision of the arcane and seldom used “Rule 19” of the Standing Senate rules in response to Senator Elisabeth Warren’s recitation of a letter written by the late Coretta Scott-King in 1986, to segregationist Senator Strom Thurmond (who conveniently neglected to enter the letter into the Senate record) expressing her deep concerns about the potential appointment of Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III to the court as a Federal judge.

McConnell claimed that Senator Warren “impugned the motives and conduct” of Senator Sessions in her reading of those past statements about Sessions from Ms. Scott-King and the late Senator Ted Kennedy (King’s letter accused Sessions of racial bias; Kennedy’s statement called him a “disgrace to the Justice Department”).

The letter finally resurfaced over thirty years after Ms Scott-King’s appearance before the Senate, when writers at BuzzFeed brought it to light. It was later published in full by the Washington Post.

You can see the entire letter and a transcript of Ms. Scott-King’s testimony before Congress here.

The move by McConnell was calculated to create maximum impact by virtue of its timing. Senator Warren was standing at the podium, reading the letter on the Senate floor when she was interrupted, mid-sentence, by McConnell’s suppressive tactic.

After a party-line vote of the entire Senate, the Republicans ordered Warren to sit down and not take part in the rest of the debate over Sessions.

In explaining his use of the invocation to silence Senator Warren, McConnell said “She was warned, she was given and explanation, never the less, she persisted…”

McConnell, without intending to do so, just created one of the greatest and most powerful campaign slogans ever uttered, for Senator Elisabeth Warren. Indeed, McConnell’s patronizing statement has already become an internet meme, often appearing with iconic images of women like Rosa Parks and Malala Yousafzai engaged in actions of protest and defiance, leaving little doubt that those scornful words will be coming soon to protest placards and feminist t-shirts near you.

Thanks Mitch! Now slip back into your shell and finish your hibernation. Spring is almost here and you are going to need your rest.

#Mitch The Angry Turtle

#PERSIST

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Who’s funding who?

Donald Trump likes to make threats about pulling federal funds from the UC college system because he doesn’t like the protests that are popping up in reaction to the fascist troll Milo Yiannopoulos who was scheduled to spew his bile at Berkeley last night.

The president delivered his ultimatum on Twitter at 3:13 a.m. Pacific time: “If U.C. Berkeley does not allow free speech and practices violence on innocent people with a different point of view — NO FEDERAL FUNDS?”

A typically eloquent missive Donald…

First lets stipulate that no one is condoning the violence and property damage that took place on the Berkeley campus. It was wrong and the people that perpetrated those foolish acts should and will be arrested and charged for what they did. It was an irrational, counterproductive act by angry, frustrated people who feel like they are not being heard or respected. Sound familiar?

That said, we should also point out the UC Berkeley college did not do those things. Berkeley is the birthplace of the free speech movement and has a well earned reputation for allowing opposing points of view to be voiced and to be heard.

What Trump does not understand (and that list is getting longer every day…) is that California doesn’t depend on funding from the federal government nearly as much as the federal government depends on funding from California.

California is a “donor state” which basically means that we contribute more to the federal government than we get back. For every dollar that we send out to the federal government we only get back around 78 cents.

California has the fifth largest economy in the world (that’s right, THE WORLD…). We fund roads and bridges and yes, schools in other states that are welfare states (meaning states that get more money from the federal government than they pay out…). Most of those states went for Trump in the 2016 election.

So if Trump wants to withhold federal funds from us, I say fine, we will keep all the money that we send to you and instead spend that money on the needs of Californians.

We will see just who funds who…

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P. T. Barnum will take the oath of office today…

…but an oath is just words to a con-man and politics, in the ballistic trajectory of Donald Trump’s rapacious ego, is just a game. More accurately, it is a “shell game” and the Presidency of the United States is the current shell under which he hides the “pea.”

In truth, this country is the final big achievement…score, in the “long-con” of Trumpism. Forget buildings and golf courses. Trump now gets to paste his name on a nation.

It is the capstone of a years-long marketing and licensing campaign that has been fueled by a mixture of racism and bigotry and ignited by a deeply damaged narcissistic mentality that values retribution over magnanimity and brutality over grace and humility.

I’ve heard it said that “What this Country needs is a businessman who will run it like a business.” I hear this mantra recited over and over in earnest by average people, most of whom work as hourly employees and small business people who have “bootstrapped” their way into a level of success by turning guts, a good idea and a SBA loan (or their inheritance, or a check and a worried glance from Dad…) into a company.

“Politicians… (they spit the word out like an errant fly that has landed on their collective tongues…) …are the problem with this country!”

“Donald Trump isn’t a politician, he’s a businessman!”  So QED, what this country needs is Donald Trump.

But the real high rollers and corporate execs know a thing that the average working stiff does not understand and that is that people are overhead and if you don’t know what overhead is, then you don’t understand a foundational concept of business strategy and that is that the purpose of running a business is to turn a profit and the quickest and cheapest way to turn a profit is to reduce overhead (and overhead is any expense that does not directly translate into profit).

Quite simply; people (their upkeep, their mistakes, their needs) are a drag on the bottom line and when it comes down to a choice between people and the bottom line, people will lose that coin toss almost every time.

And this, my friends, is the simple reason that you cannot run a country like you run a business:

Because in a properly run, successful business, profit is the bottom line and everything that the business does and everything that the business owns is there to contribute to that purpose. Anything that doesn’t generate profit is a write-off (this is another very important term that you need to know if you are going to run a successful business. It is a term that Donald Trump knows very well…).

Conversely, in a properly run, successful nation, people are the bottom line. Their growth and the realization of their potential is the nation’s bottom line.

But, people are stubborn and reticent to let go of a concept that they have come to hold dear. So let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that you could run a nation like you run a business.

OK. But here’s the thing about that…

No one ever seems to ask the next logical question in making that statement:

What kind of business is a Nation and what kind of businessman should be running it?

Let’s examine for a moment, the kind of businessman that a minority of voters in America just hired to run our country:

They see Trump as a builder.
Trump has built structures such as the Trump Tower and he did so with concrete supplied by mob owned companies and with labor supplied by immigrants working in this country illegally, but Trump does not build anything now and he hasn’t for a long time, because there were too many people and too much overhead involved in the business of building things (that’s why so many people got stiffed in those endeavors…).

They see Trump as a casino tycoon.
But in fact Trump, who would have never received a license to operate a casino in the first place if a proper investigation been done, was a spectacular failure in a business that should have been nearly bulletproof financially. Trump used his casinos as cash cows and brags about how much money he took out of them and how the casinos fueled his growth.

They see Trump as a financial genius and a graduate of the Wharton School of business.
He attended classes for two years at the Wharton school, but Trump has no graduate degree from Wharton, or anywhere  else, and there is no evidence that he was a distinguished student.

Trump does know one thing very well and that is how to work the bankruptcy courts in his favor. Indeed, Trump filed bankruptcy six times! This is backed up by PolitiFact which documents all six. Let’s go through them one by one:

Bankruptcy No. 1: The Trump Taj Mahal, 1991
Trump’s first bankruptcy may have hit the businessman, personally, the hardest, according to news reports.

He funded the construction of the $1 billion Trump Taj Mahal casino in Atlantic City, N.J., which opened in 1990, primarily with junk bonds at a whopping 14 percent interest. A year later, the casino was nearly $3 billion in debt, while Trump had racked up nearly $900 million in personal liabilities. So Trump decided to file for Chapter 11 reorganization, according to the New York Times.

As a result, Trump gave up half his personal stake in the casino and sold his yacht and airline, according to the Washington Post.

Bankruptcy No. 2: Trump Castle, 1992
Within a year of his first Chapter 11 filing, Trump found himself in bankruptcy court again for Trump Castle, which opened in 1985. It was his “weakest gambling hall,” according to the Philadelphia Inquirer, and ironically faced competition from Trump Taj Mahal. In March 1992, the Castle filed a prepackaged bankruptcy plan, and Trump gave up his 50 percent share in the casino for lower interest rates on $338 million worth of bonds.

Bankruptcy No. 3: Trump Plaza and Casino, 1992
The Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, which opened in 1984, declared bankruptcy at the same time as the Castle. A $210 million joint project of Trump’s and Harrah’s, the casino had racked up $250 million in debt by 1992, after a staggering 80 percent decline in cash flow. So Trump Plaza filed for prepackaged bankruptcy that spring as well.

Bankruptcy No. 4: Plaza Hotel, 1992
Later that year, Trump filed bankruptcy on another Plaza, this one in New York. Trump purchased the Plaza Hotel in Midtown Manhattan for $390 million in 1988, but it accumulated more than $550 million in debt by 1992. In December 1992, Trump relinquished a 49 percent stake in the Plaza to a total of six lenders, according to ABC News. Trump remained the hotel’s CEO, but it was merely a gesture; he didn’t earn a salary and had no say in the hotel’s day-to-day operations, according to the New York Times.

Bankruptcy No. 5: Trump Hotels and Casinos Resorts, 2004
Trump Hotels and Casinos Resorts filed for bankruptcy again in 2004 when his casinos — including the Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Marina and Trump Plaza casinos in Atlantic City, and a riverboat casino in Indiana — had accrued an estimated $1.8 billion in debt, according to the Associated Press. Trump agreed to reduce his share in the company from 47 percent to 27 percent in a restructuring plan, but he was still the company’s largest single shareholder and remained in charge of its operations. Trump told the Associated Press at the time that the company represented less than 1 percent of his net worth.

Bankruptcy No. 6: Trump Entertainment Resorts, 2009
Trump Entertainment Resorts — formerly Trump Hotels and Casinos Resorts — was hit hard by the 2008 economic recession and missed a $53.1 million bond interest payment in December 2008, according to ABC News. It declared Chapter 11 in February 2009. After debating with the company’s board of directors, Trump resigned as the company’s chairman and had his corporate stake in the company reduced to 10 percent. The company continued to use Trump’s name in licensing.

No my little write-offs, Donald Trump is not a Real Estate mogul, or a Casino Tycoon, or a Financial Genius. He is, at best, a salesman and what he sells is a name (…and the thin, scrim of a mystique that is associated with that name). Donald Trump has a product to sell. The name of that product is TRUMP.

Ever wonder why Donald Trump talks about himself in the third person? He isn’t. He is talking about his product! He will not divest himself of the business of selling that product because in Donald Trump’s strange little world the Product and the Man have merged into one thing. To divest himself of that would be akin to severing a limb.

“He’s soooo unpredictable…”
Is he? Everyone in the media talks endlessly about how “unpredictable” Trump is, but in reality, Trump is nothing if not predictable. He is only unpredictable if you choose not to recognize the pattern of his behavior and his life.

Is he a liberal or is he a conservative?
They are flummoxed about the chasm of disparity between what he says and what he does. They look to his cabinet appointees as a way to divine the mystery of Trump.

“Well just look at his cabinet picks” they say…”those are the cabinet picks of a real rock-ribbed conservative!”

True that! But what makes you think that Donald Trump is the one that picked those people as his cabinet?

Donald Trump has no concept of representational government or of the bureaucratic framework that is necessary to form an administration. Furthermore and perhaps more importantly, he does not want to know. In point of fact the one defining characteristic of Donald Trump’s nature as a man and as a politician, is his complete lack of intellectual curiosity. Why would Donald Trump waste his time and energy in selecting a cabinet. That is what he hired Mike Pence for.

Donald Trump hires people and he fires people on a reality TV show (or did until NBC canceled the show). His supporters seem incapable of discerning that the fake boss on a scripted reality show is not who Donald Trump is. I am beginning to believe that Donald Trump cannot make that distinction either.

He has failed at everything else. He failed in Real Estate. He failed in the Casino business. But Donald Trump is not stupid. He knows what he is doing. He will follow a very predictable pattern and do what works for him. He is recreating his own new reality show in which he gets to play the President.

That is how he will run the country (at least until his violations of human decency and the law become too great for even his Republican lackeys in Congress to ignore).

But Donald Trump does not understand that a President is not elected to run a country. A President is elected to serve (and protect) a country.

Why is all of this so hard for people (especially people in the media) to understand?

The answer is simple: They are looking under the wrong shell.

 

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Fuck MSNBC!

I’m done with them. The Republicans have taken over the network.

I’ve cancelled all of my season passes to everything;

…to All In (Chris Hayes lets them walk all over him even though he knows that they are lying to him),

…to Rachel Maddow (who will do anything and completely muzzle herself just to get a republican, any republican, to talk to her…)

…and to Lawrence O’Donnell (who has turned his show into a Jerry Lewis telethon for African Kids…I want kids to have desks but enough already with the info-mercials. Why don’t you just have Sally Struthers sell it for you…).

Chris Mathews never lets anyone finish a sentence and spits all over the desk (If the network had any sense they would retire Mathews and give the show to Howard Fineman who is twice as smart as Mathews even on his worst day….).

…and Brian Williams is still stuck in Network Anchor Talking Head mode.

Greta just shows up and is sitting in a brand new set in prime time. What a slap in the face to Joy Reid.

Joy Reid is the only one there with the guts and the intelligence to stand up to any of them and they have scheduled her in the wilderness of early mornings on weekends. Total disrespect!

Scarborough (who secretly runs the whole network and has veto power over everything that they put on the air…) and Greta can have the whole stinking pile of shit and just call it Fox News Lite (which is what it is slowly becoming).

Pathetic!

Whew. I am glad I got that out of my system. I feel much better.

OK. The truth is that I like all of those people and I believe that they try very hard to do a good job as journalists.

But I am mad at them (or perhaps more accurately their network) for one, very good reason. And I will explain that in my next posting. Stay tuned, or as Rachel likes to say; “Watch this space…”

Oh yeah, I almost forgot; Lockup sucks!

 

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Electors: Deny Trump the Presidency…(before he can do any real and lasting damage…)

…and in doing so (regardless of the final outcome…), you will have helped all of the citizens of this Country and properly fulfilled your Constitutional obligations.

Look. I know that you don’t want to hear this, but it has to be said and it has to be said now while it still matters…while we are still an intact, functioning Democracy.

You have a serious job. A job of great import and consequence.

You as Electors have an obligation to act in support of and in accordance with the intent and the institutions of our Democracy.

Institutions like the Supreme Court that protect our freedom. Institutions like the Environmental Protection Agency that protects our air and land and water. Institutions like the Federal Trade Commission that protects us from fraud and deceptive business practices.

Hmmm. That last one rings a bell for some reason. What was it? Oh yeah, Donald Trump will compromise the office of the Presidency with his foreign entanglements. He will break the law (just as he has done many times before) and he will be impeached.

Between now and then, people will suffer. Some people may die. Not people who look like you, but they are people, with families, just like you.

You have an obligation to act above and beyond partisan, political stratagems (and make no mistake – Trump’s win was entirely strategic and in no way reflective of the will of the people. If you doubt that, just check the vote count…) and instead cast your votes to reflect allegiance with the interests and in protection of, all of the citizens of the United States.

You have an obligation to ensure, as James Madison put it, that “factions” of citizens with a common interest don’t harm the nation as a whole.

It is up to you to act as the last, best hope for the preservation of our freedoms and our Democratic way of life.

Because, here’s the thing:

Set aside for a moment the fact that Hillary Clinton is on track to beat Trump by nearly 3 million votes nationwide, which is an unprecedented number.

Instead let’s just focus on the empty vessel that is Donald J. Trump;

Donald Trump has not and will never act in anyone’s interest but his own. He cannot because he just isn’t wired that way. He sees the world through the lenses of self-interest and self-aggrandizement. Those lenses filter out any sense of obligation as a public servant. Donald Trump does not serve anything or anyone but his own rapacious ego. He can only do what he has always done throughout his sordid and sleazy career; he takes ownership, then he fails, leaving others to pay the price.

I beg you to not hand the stewardship of this great Nation to a foolhardy, fascistic, vulgarian with the impulse control of a three year old and in doing so, allow him to steer it (Us) onto the rocks of ignorance and fear and bigotry that masquerades as a policy agenda. To do so would do lasting, perhaps irreparable damage to our Democracy.

You need to understand that and do something about it before our Country and our people suffer that damage. Damage that you will have to accept proportionate responsibility for. You will have to live with the knowledge that you could have done something about it before it happened but you didn’t.

Now, take a good long look into the eyes of your kids, into the eyes of your daughters and figure out how you are going to explain that.

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The Hard Truth(s).

You are right protest voters; your Government is not listening to you…

…and voting for a bloviating racist with no experience as the mayor of a one horse town, let alone as the leader of the free world, or for a third party candidate with a limited knowledge of the world and an even more limited chance of actually winning an election, will not improve that circumstance.

Know why? I’m sorry, that was a stupid question. Of course you don’t know why. I forgot for a second that your ignorance of anything beyond your own self-centered, impotent rage is complete.

So I will skip all the hints and just tell you the answer to save us both some time.

Here it is:

Your government isn’t listening to you because you are the fucking government!

That’s right. Turns out we live in a self governing, Representative Democracy which means that if you don’t bother to learn about the ways and means by which our government functions (or does not function) and instead just sit in your self imposed, fact free bubble yammering about how “the Brown people have ruined it for all the decent God fearing White people that belong here,” then you miss some important truths.

Truth One: It is your task and responsibility as a Citizen of this country to elect representatives that have not only earned the public trust through their experience in the complex job of governance, but also understand that running a country and providing for the public welfare both domestically and throughout the World, is very serious business! If they fail, people can and will die.

Truth Two: That Brown person had a life far more difficult than yours. He or she didn’t sit around whining about how all the White folks stole his country. He got off of his ass and did something about his circumstances.

Truth Three: People can only deceive you if you don’t bother to find out the facts for yourself.

Truth Four: There are no elites. (right about here you should be imagining Oz talking to the Scarecrow…) There are only people just like you. The only difference between them and you is that they bothered to open their eyes and their mind to a wide, wide world of facts and knowledge. They don’t just bump along doing the same thing over and over and wonder why the difficult circumstances of their musty, moldering little lives don’t change and how they got left behind.

They actually look for answers. And if they don’t like the answers that they find they don’t stick their fingers in their ears and pretend that the facts they discover are just wrong. They accept the facts that they encounter and then go about trying to change the set of circumstances that lead to those facts.

Write letters, make phone calls, show up at town hall events. Start a movement, gain insight and knowledge and use that knowledge to chart a course for making things better. That is how people out here in the real America actually bring about meaningful change that benefits everyone.

Truth Five: Blowing things up because you are frustrated and angry is what children do. Stop acting like a petulant child and consider the fact that giving the nuclear codes to an ignorant narcissist with sloppy impulse control makes you not only stupid but also a threat to your fellow citizens.

Truth Six: When you “shake things up” (think; beer and earthquakes…and a nuclear arsenal…) what you end up with is a big fucking mess.

Truth Seven: You voted for a con man who told you what you wanted to hear. He got away with that because he knew that you would be too lazy, foolish and full of ambiguous and nonsensical anger at his opponent to bother with considering minor details like how in the world a man-child that has failed at every enterprise that he has ever started (until he finally hit upon the idea of licensing a brand name that was made famous by his involvement in a game show), could possibly have the intelligence, preparation and wherewithal to run the largest and most complex federal government in the world.

Truth Eight: Now that you have elected the “Little Rascals” (Google it…) to high office you are about to be taught a very hard lesson in just what will happen if you ignore truths One through Six.

 

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Breaking News: Dog catches car. Comes to the stark realization that he doesn’t know how to drive….

…or for that matter how to open the doors or how to start the damn thing.

So there you go buddy…hop on in and start her up. Oh, right. We should probably tell you first that those keys are not just a shiny object that make a funny noise when you shake them.

Here’s the thing Mr President Elect: Sitting in the back seat and sticking your head out the window isn’t the same thing as driving the car. And spending a year and a half pissing on the tires doesn’t get you any closer to that knowledge.

Looks like the dogs are now running the fucking kennel and half of the country is about to learn what the rest of us already knew:

We will be the one’s left cleaning up the shit.

 

 

 

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