“Zero Chaos” It’s Not Only Donald Trump’s Characterization Of His Administration, It’s Also His Porn Name.

I have seen train-wrecks before but I have never seen one that lasted for 76 minutes.

On Thursday, February 16th, Donald Trump gave his first solo press conference since being sworn in as President. I wish I could say that he was in “rare form” during the fact-free, insult-laced, one hour and fifteen minute rant, but sadly, there was nothing rare about it. It ranged from the now commonplace; in his false claim that his electoral win of 306 was the largest since Ronald Reagan’s victory (Barrack Obama’s 08′ electoral win was 365, Bill Clinton received 370 and George H. W. Bush’s win was well over 400!), to the truly novel; in his statement that “the intelligence leaks are real, but the news is fake!”

As he said that, I imagined all the heads of the journalists seated in the room, exploding in unison.

To revisit the train-wreck metaphor; I was horrified and fascinated. I couldn’t look away and yet prayed that it wasn’t really happening (and who knows, Donald Trump may very well claim tomorrow that it never did…).

To be honest the display resembled nothing so much as the court mandated psychological observation of a psychotic. He ranted, he rambled, he threatened, he played the victim, he veered into nonsensical misdirection and projection.

To recount just some of the low-lights (and by low-lights, I mean blatant lies), he said:

• “Hillary Clinton gave Russia 20% of the uranium in our country…”
• “Drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars…”
• “The ninth circuit court has been overturned a record number of times…”
• “I inherited a mess…”
• “The Dakota / Keystone pipeline will create thousands and thousands of jobs…”
• “Elijah Cummings was told by [Senator] Schumer, or some other light-weight, not to meet with me…”
• When he was confronted by MSNBC’s Peter Alexander on the obvious falsity of the electoral win statement, Trump responded; “I was given that information…actually, I’ve seen that information around…”
• “Russia is a ruse…I have nothing to do with Russia….I haven’t made a phone call to Russia in years… don’t speak to people from Russia…To the best of my knowledge, no person that I deal with has any…” (For the record, Trump has many past and present business ties to people in and from Russia. His most recent visit to Russia was in November of 2013 for a beauty pageant that he owns but which was funded by a Russian billionaire. In an October 2013 interview with David Letterman – scrub to 14:43 on the slider, Trump stated that he has “done a lot of business with the Russians…” It is safe to assume that those business ties are still intact. Consider that if those ties had been severed it is a good bet that Trump would be making a big deal about making sure that everyone knows that.)
• “There is zero chaos…this administration is running like a fine-tuned [sic] machine…”

That is just a sampling of the dissembling, obfuscation and bald-faced lying that was on display. However, no statement by Trump was quite so telling as the one that just might be the only true thing that he said, in his declaration that “I love this, I’m having a good time.”

Zero Chaos? This man is driven by chaos. It is his raison d’être. I have come to believe that without chaos, Donald Trump would simply blink out of existence; his voice getting smaller and more helium-induced as he recedes, until…poof! A flash of light and a small puff of smoke. We hear a little popping sound as he vanishes, like a cork being pulled from a bottle…

It has been reported that Vice-Admiral Robert Harward, to whom Trump had offered the now vacant position of National Security Advisor (replacing Michael Flynn), decided after watching the press conference, to turn down the offer.

Clearly, Robert Harward was exactly the person that Donald Trump needs; he was the smartest guy in the room. The speed at which he left that room was proof of that.